Don’t you hate it when you wake up in the morning and feel fine but then you remember everything and all these thoughts come flooding back and your stomach gets filled with dread and anxiety and everything in life seems pointless and you wish you never woke up at all.
Currently watching
Haul video is up.
I’m still here.
I’m pretty sure it’s safe.
I know they never read this.
And I’m trying to get over this pointless crap.
Fuck people.
Obsession is a bitch.
Considering deleting this blog and creating a new one that no one knows about.
Don’t you hate it when people you think are decent do something really shit.
Don’t you hate it when you let someone fool you into believing they are good.
Sigh.
Anonymous asked:
That wasn’t condescending or anything…
I take it you haven’t read much of my blog or you have and you just read what you wanted to and ignored everything else.
I have said multiple times in various places that what I go through, I know others don’t and I don’t expect them or want them to. I know what I go through isn’t normal and not everyone does it. I know everyone has a life and families and friends. I’m not a fucking idiot.
I have depression and anxiety and these things combined make me think differently to a mentally healthy person. I don’t have much of anything going in my life compared to most so I fixate on things. I see things when there is nothing to see. I care too much. Worry too much. Think too much. I am aware that I do this. I am aware that it isn’t normal. I am aware it’s part of my mental illness.
A blog helps me vent my ridiculous thoughts and gets them out. It’s how I feel at a particular time. Not all the time.
You do realise that assuming the worst is part of anxiety right?
I know my mental health better than you or anyone else. I’ve had it my whole life. I also know the difference between rational thoughts and irrational ones and my blog mostly gets filled with the irrational ones so I can work through them.
I often wonder what it would be like to be beautiful.
And to have people think you are beautiful.
And to be liked.
Things I’ll never know.
The more pictures I take of myself, the more I notice how ugly I am.
Nobody likes ugly.
Hey, this post may contain adult content, so we’ve hidden it from public view.
m-attoid